Artist: Eminem

Album: Marshall Mathers LP

Song: Criminal

A lot of people ask me.. stup id fuckin questionsA lot of people think that.. what I say on recordsor what I talk about on a record, that I actually do in real life or that I believe in itOr if I say that, I wanna kill somebody, that.. I'm actually gonna do itor that I believe in itWe l l, shit.. if you believe thatthen I'll kill youYou know why?Cuz I'm aCRIMINALCRIMINALYou god damn rightI'm a CRIMINALYeah, I'm a CRIMINALMy words are like a dagger with a jagged edgeThat'll stab you in the headwhether you're a fag or lezOr the homosex, he r maph or a trans-a-vestPants or dress - hate fags? The answer's "yes"Homophobic? Nah, you're just heterophobicStarin at my jeans, watchin my genitals bulgin (Ooh!)That's my motherfuckin balls, you'd better let go of emThey belong in my scrotum, you'll neve r get hold of emHey, it's me, VersaceWhoops, somebody shot me!And I was just checkin the mailGet it? Checkin the 'male'?How many records you expectin to sellafter your second LP sends you directly to jail?C'mon!-- Relax guy, I like gay menRight, Ken? Give m e an amen (AAA-men!)Please Lord, this boy needs JesusHeal this child, help us destroy these demonsOh, and please send me a brand new carAnd a prostitute while my wife's sick in the hospital Preacher preacher, fifth grade teacherYou can't reach me, my mom c an't neither You can't teach me a goddamn thing causeI watch TV, and Comcast cableand you ain't able to stop these thoughtsYou can't stop me from toppin these chartsAnd you can't stop me from droppin each Marchwith a brand new cd for these fuckin retardsD u hhh, and to think, it's just little ol' meMr. "Don't Give A Fuck," still won't leaveChorus:I'm a CRIMINALCuz every time I write a rhyme, these people think it's a crimeto tell em what's on my mind - I guess I'm a CRIMINALbut I don't gotta say a word, I ju s t flip em the birdand keep goin, I don't take shit from no oneI'm a CRIMINALCuz every time I write a rhyme, these people think it's a crimeto tell em what's on my mind - I guess I'm a CRIMINAL but I don't gotta say a word, I just flip em the birdand keep g oin, I don't take shit from no oneMy mother did drugs - tar, liquor, cigarettes, and speedThe baby came out - disfigured, ligaments indeedIt was a seed who would grow up just as crazy as sheDon't dare make fun of that baby cause that baby was meI'm a CRIM I NAL - an animal caged who turned crazedBut how the fuck you sposed to grow up when you weren't raised?So as I got older and I got a lot tallerMy dick shrunk smaller, but my balls got largerI drink malt liquor to fuck you up quickerthan you'd wanna fuck me up for sayin the word ...My morals went thhbbpp when the president got oralSex in his Oval Office on top of his deskOff of his own employeeNow don't ignore me, you won't avoid meYou can't miss me, I'm white, blonde-hairedand my nose is pointyI'm the bad g u y who makes fun of people that diein plane crashes and laughsAs long as it ain't happened to himSlim Shady, I'm as crazy as Eminem and Kim combined - *kch* the maniac's inReplacin the doctor cause Dre couldn't make it todayHe's a little under the weather, so I'm takin his place(Mm-mm-mmm!) Oh, that's Dre with an AK to his faceDon't make me kill him too and spray his brains all over the placeI told you Dre, you should've kept that thang put awayI guess that'll teach you not to let me play with it, eh?I'm a CRIMINAL}{\i Aight look (uh huh) just go up in that motherfuckerget the motherfuckin money and get the fuck up outta thereAightI'll be right here waitin on youAightYo EmWhat?!Don't kill nobody this timeAwwright... god damn, fuck... (whistling) how you doin'?Hi, how can I help you?Yeah I need to make a withdrawl OkayPut the fuckin money in the bag bitch... and I won't kill you!What? Oh my god, don't kill meI'm not gonna kill you bitch, quit lookin around...Don't kill me, please don't kill me...I said I'm not gonn a fuckin kill youHurry the fuck up! \{*BOOM*\} Thank you!}{ Windows tinted on my ride when I drive in itSo when I rob a bank, run out and just dive in itSo I'll be disguised in itAnd if anybody identifies the guy in itI'll hide for five minutesCome back, shoot t he eyewitnessThen fire at the private eye hired to pry in my businessDie, bitches! Pass this brass pestCause Puffy's lucky I didn't blast his ass yetIf I ever gave a fuck, I'd shave my nutstuck my dick inbetween my legs and cluckYou motherfuckin chickens ain't brave enoughto say the stuff I say, so this tape is shutShit, half the shit I say, I just make it upTo make you mad so kiss my white naked assAnd if it's not a rapper that I make it asI'ma be a fuckin rapist in a Jason mask Criminal

Bang